“Fun” By Any Other Name…

I often write about my childhood. They say that people’s memories deteriorate over time, but for me, things from my past are still pretty clear up there. That’ s one of the reasons why I write - so I have some sort of a record when those memories drift away. I believe it’s healthy sometimes to reminisce, and I enjoy taking a step back and seeing the big picture. And not to sound too morbid, but it could all end in an instant. And if that happens, I want to know exactly what I’ve gotten myself into.

But for this post, I want to talk about now. And I want to talk about “fun”. 

“You’re always out having fun.” “Where do you find the time to do all of those things?” “Do you ever work?” These are just a few examples of comments/questions I get on a regular basis from friends, colleagues at work, or individuals whom I’m connected with on Social Media. And that last question (about work), still rubs me a little the wrong way. Sure, I think being above offense is where we all want to be; but I never claimed to be above anything, so lets talk about that. 

Yes, I work. I work as hard as I know how to. There’s still much room for improvement and success, and I’m working at both. I deal with stress, I have lofty quotas, I have a Sales Director that sometimes resembles Hades from the animated film Hercules, and I face significant challenges every single day. The nature of my field sometimes requires that I work odd hours, and I’m frequently on call. All this said, I’ve learned to value my personal time. 

Now let me go on record for saying that I’m not a parent, and I’m not in a relationship. These two facts dictate a LOT when it comes to the amount of personal time that I have. I won’t begin to compare myself to those who have several mouths to feed, multiple jobs, demanding partners, or other extenuating circumstances that require their time. You win. I surrender. But even for a single, kid-less 35 year-old, I do squeeze every ounce out of the time that I do have, which sometimes makes for a rather interesting lifestyle. My laundry and dishes pile up, I can sometimes be found napping for 5 minutes in my car before an important meeting, and I eat more tuna fish and crackers than I’d care to admit (and often for dinner, which tends to be eaten after 11pm). I feel kind of like one of the guys in the movie Fight Club, except I’m beating the shit out of myself. 

So, that comment about me always having “fun”…. Let’s just say that I’m really not a fan of the word. When you’re a child, life is all about “having fun”. So much emphasis on “F-U-N”. It’s what you did when you were done with all the serious stuff (school, homework, chores), right? But what the hell does it really mean? The older I get, the less the word “fun” makes sense to me. Are people still having it? Are we becoming too serious? Jaded? Responsible? I don’t think it’s any of those things. Maybe it’s because I typically don’t use the word “fun” to describe something that is tremendously challenging. Why don’t people ask the ultra marathon runner why they “spend so much time having fun”? Because they’re not. They’re doing it so they can break the ribbon. They’re doing it because they’re trying to crush what they thought were their limits. They’re choosing to have their therapy session on the trail. So let’s stop calling what they, and I do in my personal time “fun”, because it’s just not fitting. Don’t get me wrong, there are smiles, and high-fives. There are moments of peace, and true accomplishment. And that, to me, is what I try to make my personal time all about: Accomplishment. 

As far back as I can remember, I’ve been drawn to those things that test me. I realize that I probably could’ve reached some level of proficiency in a few different areas. I’ve always been athletic, quick to pick things up, and I think I’ve possessed the mental capacity. But something has always led me down an alternative path - one that has twisted and turned, and often led into the wild.

Let me also go on the record as saying that I’m not trying to paint myself as an expert. Compared to many, I'm just another poser. I’m simply a guy that’s trying to push himself further, not a guy that's just trying to have "fun". And if you still want to use that word, try calling a 4:00am wake-up time to tour up to the top of peak, in sub-zero temperatures, so you can be back at your truck and ready for work, “fun”….I dare you. Try ascending almost 125,000 vertical feet in a year, and calling that “fun”. Try being the “new guy” over, and over, and over again. It’s not comfortable, it’s incredibly humbling, and and it’s certainly not “fun”.

I’m willing to accept that I might be a bit of a glutton for punishment. Or maybe I have some deep seated issue stemming from not being hugged enough as a kid. I’m sure one of you will diagnose me before long. But there’s a reason why I’m sharing this with you. It’s a personal “gospel” of sorts. Now, I’m not everyone, and the message will not resonate with all of you. And that message is that I want you to abandon the myth. I want you to stop believing that work, school, and chores are the "anti-fun”. And that the other activities are “fun”. Because my work, my different forms of education, and certainly my activities are neither “fun”, or “not fun”. I believe that they make me more complete. They make me a person who’s more equipped to face challenges, pain, and discomfort. I will most assuredly face challenges in my future that will demand more of me than ever before. My hope is that I will be ready for them, and my faith lies in my belief that what my heart leads me to do, will prepare me for them. 

I'm sure someday what drives me will change. Maybe I'll get injured, or just tired of the pace. Maybe then I'll start watching TV, getting massages, or reading more. But this is where, who, and how I am. At least for now...